


We All Fall Down

by IronBitch35730 (Ayita35730)



Category: Succession (TV 2018)
Genre: Angst, Gen, also character reflection, post confrence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-19
Updated: 2020-10-19
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:20:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27096430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ayita35730/pseuds/IronBitch35730
Summary: Kendall and Shiv Roy have a confrontation the night after the press conference.
Relationships: Kendall Roy & Siobhan "Shiv" Roy
Comments: 3
Kudos: 15





	We All Fall Down

Somehow, he knew it’d be Shiv. 

Roman won’t dare yet, if ever. Connor might play it neutral, but even if he does he won’t reach out to Kendall before the PR team has time to come up with a strategy to combat his betrayal. Hell, if Kendall was in their place, he wouldn’t come to see him either. 

Only Shiv has enough balls to show up to his place the night of the conference. Mere hours after he threw his entire family to the wolves, she’s harassing his security team to get in to see him. He’s alone, finally. Jess and Greg and an assorted team of people that have been with him a few years were here up until a half an hour ago, before finally letting him sleep for the night. Or get high. He isn’t sure which he’s going with yet. 

“Mr. Roy, Ms. Roy is being very adamant. She’s demanding to see you.” 

He chews on that for a minute. 

It goes against everything they spent the past few hours hashing out—he can’t be a repentant whistleblower if he’s still consorting with the company. If he looks like he’s supporting his father in any way, everything could fall apart. He isn’t going to get a second chance to do this right. He  _ has  _ to do this right this time. 

“Let her in.” 

He has a soft spot for Shiv. He shouldn’t. Really, she’s the most dangerous of all his siblings, including himself. But she’s his little sister and he can’t stop the part of him that still remembers her toddling after him, eyes wide and happy and adoring. Even as she grew up and became fierce and unrelenting, a part of him always saw that girl. 

She’d probably think that pathetic. 

He sips on a whiskey bottle, sitting up on the couch as she storms in, letting the door slam behind her. 

They both know they shouldn't be talking. It’s obvious in the way they both lapse into a tense silence. There’s plenty to say, but words are dangerous and they’re even sharper between them, they always have been. There’s an honesty in their relationship that they don’t have with Roman and Connor.

It’s probably because Kendall and Shiv have always been the dominant ones in their family, Kendall gaining power because of birthright, because of work and determination. But Shiv, she’s got fire, she’s got presence. She’s always been his real competition—he just never thought it’d be for the company. 

He supposes she won. Or she would have, if he hadn’t sunk them all. He wonders if it's that strange mix of comradery and resentment that leaves them both speechless for so long. He’s put them in a position they’ve never had to be in before. But Shiv’s made her choice. 

“How long did it take him to convince you?” He hears himself ask and he doesn’t really know if he wants to know, actually. Part of him desperately doesn’t want to hear her confirm it. It’s bad enough his father planned on sacrificing him, the idea that Shiv would support and, as he suspects, encouraged it…but he has to know. He has to face them eventually and he’s not stupid. He doesn’t expect his siblings to side with him.

He still hopes she’ll deny it. 

She doesn’t answer immediately. There’s a few beats as she walks over to the couch and takes the bottle of whiskey from him. She takes a swig and then hands it back, dropping down beside him. 

“About a night,” She says and he winces despite himself. He forgets how goddamn brutal she is. “But it was you or Tom. Nothing personal.” That almost sounds apologetic.

“How comforting.” He says. It is a bit, honestly. 

“Look Kendall I’m sorry we were going to fuck you, but you did this to yourself. I saw you that day, the day after the panic room. You were broken and you’d decided to stay that way, you used all your chances. And—” She tries to stop herself before she says it, but the words tumble out regardless. “And I owed Tom.”

Ah. He understands that. For Rava he would probably do the same, even though he doesn’t love her anymore. Because she gave him so much and he just  _ disappointed _ her, over and over again. He takes another sip, then hands the bottle to Shiv. 

“Ah. He finally snapped huh?” He pauses as she drinks, then his tone changes to something more mocking. “Did you break your toy, Shiv?” 

With the hand that isn’t holding the whiskey, she smacks his arm, hard. “Fucker. What the hell do you know? Since when have you ever taken an interest in Tom?” 

He leans back on the couch and closes his eyes. Smiles. 

“I know because it happened with me and Rava. I know because I know you. I chose drugs. I wanted freedom and recklessness and excitement and I had a woman leagues better than me but I took her for granted. I constantly disrespected her because it was easier than giving up that part of me.” He sits back to look at her, smirking. “ I heard about the actor from Willa’s play. Tried one myself so I can’t blame you, but I’m sure he’s not the first. You can’t give up sex, can’t give up any more of yourself than you  _ have  _ to. You do the bare minimum. Neither of us could really give ourselves to anyone, because we’re so obsessed with trying to control everything. It’ll ruin things with Tom too. Just wait. You might be out of his league, but he doesn’t seem the type to resent you quietly. He’ll leave, just like Rava did. We’re all alone in the long run.”

He opens his eyes to see her scoff, rolling her eyes. But she looks uncomfortable enough that he knows he hit a nerve. 

“Fuck, what are you a shrink all of a sudden? Well fuck you Kendall, fuck you. You have no idea about Tom and I, alright, so don't pretend you do. That’s bullshit.” 

“Fine,” He says, and suddenly sits up, looking her directly in the eyes. He watches it startle her for the briefest second before she squares her shoulders up and stares him down. “How about we talk about why you’re here then?” 

She watches him and raises an eyebrow, that way she does when someone’s done something she’s planning on making them regret.

“I’m here because you’re a fucking asshole.” She says, then takes another drink of the whiskey. He tries to reach for it but she won’t let go, instead taking another sip. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing? You’re going to take everyone down for a pathetic little ‘fuck you’ to Dad?” 

He laughs darkly. “That’s exactly what the fuck I’m going to do, and it’s probably one of the only things I’ve done in my life he’d approve of,” He falls back down and sighs, the last bit more to himself than Shiv “The one time that isn’t the point.” 

He’s getting too honest. The whiskey is getting to him, even with Shiv hogging it all. 

“God you are a dick. Do you have any idea how selfish and immature you sound? You lost so down you decide to sink the ship with you?” 

He grins unrepentantly, but it feels forced. “I took the last lifeboat too.” Then his mood turns, and he’s  _ angry _ . How dare she come here acting like the wronged party? The audacity of her to accuse him of selfishness, when she all but admitted she fucked him over to make up for the shit she’s done to Tom. What does he owe any of them, especially her? How could she possibly understand what’s going on with him? And who is she to talk? She’s following right in his misguided footsteps.

“What do you even want Shiv? You were going to kill me. Ruin my life and my career to save your own skins. Are you really so surprised I did the same?” He stands up and paces a bit. “I think what you’re really mad about is that in your mind, I was supposed to just lie down and die. That’s the role you and Dad assigned to me. And I broke the script. You lost control. Now you might not win after all.”

Shiv stands up too, shakily, the whiskey obviously getting to her as well. She leaves the bottle on the ground but stands to interrupt his pacing, stepping directly in his path. “That’s exactly what I’m angry about Ken. You had no right. You lost your chance, you fucked up everything multiple times now. It was  _ my turn _ . If you would just stop getting in my  _ fucking _ way I wouldn’t have had to help dad kill you. Stay the fuck down, it’s time to let someone better step in. I can do this better than all of you and you know that. Dad knows it, Rome knows it, this entire fucking family knows but I’m a fucking  _ woman _ so for some goddamn reason I haven’t been the obvious choice from the start. I deserve this Kendall. Not you. Not Rome. Not fucking Tom,  _ me _ .”

Kendall’s stunned. He really didn’t know that Shiv wanted the company that much. She’d done a good job of hiding it, her ambition. He knew she wanted to be the best of them, the favorite child, but that was a war she’d already won. Of course he had thought about Shiv running the company, but he knew Dad would never do it. He loves Shiv, he probably loves her the most (as much as he’s capable of it). When Kendall found out Logan had promised her the keys he was surprised but he also  _ wasn’t. _ He was more surprised that Shiv jumped on the offer than his Dad making it in the first place—at the time, Kendall truly believed he couldn’t do the job even if he was in consideration, so with him completely out of the picture…

Well. She made way more sense than Roman. 

Making the offer was one thing. Dad going through with it was something completely different. Dad had made Kendall plenty of promises too and he knows now that all that was always just bullshit. Logan never had any hard plans for him to take over the company. Kendall can’t even honestly say he’ll ever give it to one of them. Something else like Rhea seems the most likely outcome at this point—that is if he hasn’t doomed the family legacy and there’s a very high chance he has. 

“I never knew how bad you wanted it. But you have to know it’s never gonna be you. Not really, just like it was never gonna be me. He likes you Shiv, he likes you the most. We all know this. But Dad made you that offer to get you to quit your job with Gil. He stage managed you, just like you love to say he does to me and Rome. He got you more firmly under his thumb by getting you into the dog race. And he will drag you down and use you and keep giving you just enough that you won’t leave, in the vague hope that  _ one day _ he’ll deliver on his promises. He’ll make you feel special, for the slightest moment, then make you feel completely inadequate the rest of the time. You want to know what broke me Shiv?” 

She takes a step back when he wobbles, his world spinning for a minute as images of water and the screech of the brakes and the  _ fear fear fear _ come tearing back. 

“Kendall? Fuck, breath Ken.” Shiv is suddenly gripping his shoulders, guiding him back onto the couch. “What the fuck is going on with you?”

“I killed a kid.” He whispers and he can’t unsee the flicker of disgust and horror and unsurprised pity he sees in her eyes as the words hit. “The waiter, the one that dad yelled at. I killed him.”

Shiv gapes for a moment, sinking down to her knees in front of him, putting them near eye level. That’s when he sees the flicker in her gaze. The same one that Dad had, when he told Kendall he knew and he wants to be sick because fuck—Shiv just started seeing the myriad of ways she could use this against him. 

It’s okay. He knew this was going to come out, after he accused his Dad. There’s no way Logan will keep his little secret after he buried him. But Kendall just made it all the easier to do by telling Shiv. Still, that empty, aching feel he hasn’t been able to shake since he crawled out of that water persits and he hears himself continue. 

“We were getting high together. I wanted some coke, so I was going to drive. While we were on our way a deer jumped out and he grabbed the wheel, swerved us into the water. I was able to crawl out but he…” 

Shiv lays a tentative hand on his and she looks like she’s warring with herself. Concern is there, which reassures him a bit, but he knows she’s still angry with him as well. He has no idea how Shiv is going to react right now. 

“Ken, it wasn’t your fault. You shouldn’t be driving high and it very well  _ could _ be your fucking fault, but if you are telling me the truth, it was an accident. He grabbed the wheel and even sober you couldn’t help that.” 

“Dad knew Shiv.” 

Her eyes flash. She’s surprised, but he doesn’t know if it's that their father would hide this  _ for  _ him or  _ from _ her. 

“He knew and he used it to break me all the way. Because that’s the way he likes me Shiv. That’s the only way he can love me. And it’ll be the only way he can love you too.”

She’s quite a moment, then she stands. 

“I’m not you. It’s different. He made me a fucking offer and I will make sure as hell he follows through.” 

“God you’re so fucking stupid,” He snaps, his head hurting. “Just because you’re the most like him doesn’t mean you're any less of a nothing than the rest of us.”

He hears the slap before he feels it. It stings, aches in his cheek a little. She backhanded him, which isn’t really surprising—that she’d do that instead of slap him with an open palm. It’s got an element of disrespect to it, and if he knows anything he knows that Shiv doesn’t respect him. 

But he’s stopped searching for respect. 

He looks back at her and her eyes cold, her hair is a little disarrayed and there’s a wild element to her features. 

“You look just like Dad.” Kendall laughs and Shiv winces. She balks at his words and he sees tears come to her eyes.

“You’re wrong. You broke yourself Kendall. And I’m like dad? Have you looked in a mirror? You were a fucking spitting image today. Don’t act like you’re any better, you’re not. We’ll fucking beat you Kendall. He always wins. ” 

“Exactly.” He whispers. “Remember, he’s only playing for himself Shiv.” 

She doesn’t respond to that, a hard set in her eyes. Instead, she walks for the door. 

“When he takes you down, I’ll be here. No matter what.” He says, and he isn’t even sure why he says it. But it makes Shiv pause. 

“Take care of yourself Ken.” Then she’s gone. 

Kendall picks up the bottle of whiskey, takes a sip.

And for the first time in a while, he has a little hope. 


End file.
